Can you chase your child, yet be a successful parent?
“What do you think?” Should I keep “pushing him?” I know he/she has talent, but is not focused, or is lazy, or is not confident?
Many of us parents grew up in an era where we defined the educational criteria ourselves. Our failures and successes were emotionally supported by parents, not necessarily monitored by them. Thus the parenting model of stepping in, checking our children’s progress or lack thereof, on a regular basis, makes us wonder, are we really supporting them? Or are we setting them up for failure?
The parental angst is the same, whether to step in aggressively, whether to support from behind? In many situations, one wonders questions aggression or support. Peer pressure exists from the kindergarten level, making us parents wonder if we have risen upto the task of parenting.
My journey began with my son, a thin livewire, exerting his control by deciding for himself how much and what he would eat. Our negotiations were both fun and frustrating, to the point where we negotiated over grades, and now name change. My younger son too planned his school work, and showed me the grades. However, we had an invisible line, a line which encouraged them to do their best, to push themselves as far as they could, without compromising on their self-confidence and emotional balance.
To many parents, I was an aggressive and focused mom. To my kids, I was a strict mom, but not always strict. Yet their achievements are second to none. Guess it takes time, belief in oneself, and emotional maturity as a parent.
Today I came across this article from the New York Times, so incredibly encapsulates and validates us as parents. Do read the same as you continue to define yourself as a parent. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/05/opinion/sunday/raising-successful-children.html